Whoreovision 4

The Whoreovision Song Contest is a National Selection process organised by the Lyrisian National Broadcaster so as to determine the entry of Lyrisia in the upcoming Plastics Song Contest. The contest will consist of 6 entries divided into 2 semi finals where the winner of each will advance to the final for a duel. The act that advances and eventually wins will be determined by the Lyrisian public and represent the country at the Plastics Song Contest. This is the fourth edition of the Whoreovision Song Contest and will be held in the country's capital, Zaječar. The contest will be hosted by Lyrisian internet superstar Dasha the Slut who will perform the opening act. The interval act will be a performance of the winner of PSC as well as Lindsey Stirling, the Lyrisian representative in the third Plastics Song Contest.

Audition Phase
Prior to the semi-final phase of the newly revised Whoreovision Song Contest, a two-month audition process would be held in various cities throughout Lyrisia. Applications were open to anyone who was over the age of 16 and was open to participating in the Plastics Song Contest in the event of them winning. Tens of thousands of people auditioned to represent Lyrisia in the upcoming edition of the Plastics Song Contest and were judged by an expert panel of three jurors - Illen Tulvine, Sirusho and Nika Zorjan. Each judge was allowed to pick entries that they thought would do well in the semi-finals.

Goga Sekulic - Goga was the first person to audition for Whoreovision 4 and sang her hit single from 10 years ago "Sexy Biznisman". Despite remembering all the lyrics - just - Goga was out of tune throughout the entirety of the song and ripped her leggings when attempting a slut-drop. Illen said to Goga after she had finished: "Go home, I think you're drunk bitch". Sirusho and Nika Zorjan just told Goga to try harder next time. Kamshat Zholdybaeva - Kamshat Zholdybaeva, a relatively new singer to Lyrisia decided to perform her debut song Birge which Illen Tulvine mistook for Burgers and proceeded to sniff around the studio for 10 minutes claiming "She smelt Burgers and had to find them". Sirusho and Nika both liked the song but felt that something was missing. Illen, on the other hand stated: "I like Cumshots. You're close but no banana" Kendji Girac - Kendji Girac, a well-known Lyrisian singer was rumoured to be someone RTL have been considering as an internal selection for a while. However, he chose to audition and compete in the National Final. Upon entering the studio, Illen stopped pleasuring herself with a Shaniqua XXL Comfort Dildo and became more interested in Kendji. During his performance she could be seen, spreading her legs, winking, licking her lips and having what seemed to be a "Triple Orgasm". After the performance she said that she wanted to mentor him amongst many other things and didn't care what the others thought. Zheka - Next to audition was famous Lyrisian singer Zheka, who performed "Duy Na Menya, Duy"/"Do It Yourself Girl". Sirusho and Nika were not impressed with the audition and even left the studio while she was singing. Illen, on the other hand, jumped on the judges' panel and began twerking, slut dropping and even joined in with the orgasm noises. Illen declared that she was blown away by the performance but said that she thought Zheka would be better working privately for Illen for her new show - Bitch In Kitchen. i-La - i-La, one of the youngest singers to audition, performed her song "Hungry after Zheka. She stated that she had never been on TV before but had spent years studying the art of singing.  Illen declined to give any feedback - evidently jealous of her voice - however, Sirusho and Nika Zorjan were both amazed with her and both wanted her to join their team.  i-La eventually chose to join Nika. Hoga Tekulic - Hoga turned up in a facemask whilst being draped in a black blanket.  All of the judges were confused what was going on but all became clear when she began to sing that it was in fact Goga who had returned and wanted to try again.  As soon as she was discovered, Goga threw a stink bomb into the room and began to physically attack Illen.  The two were grabbing at each other's hair, boobs, clothes until the live stream was cut for a moment and aired a commercial for the new show "Bitch In Kitchen". Natasha Bogdanova - To quote Illen: "No". Saša Kovačević - After Natasha had left after an epic argument between Illen and herself, Illen's microphone picked up: "When the fuck is someone fuckable going to perform? My pu**y has been dry for 30 minutes now. This is ridiculous." Suddendly, Saša Kovačević entered the studio and Illen fell off her chair causing her tight shirt to rip a bit. She then crawled towards the stage and began to twerk - breaking a heel and ripping a hole in her ass in the process. She was ushered back to her chair by the production team where she could be seen "Rawr-ing" at Saša. When he finished singing his song "Temperatura", Illen immediately put her hand over her co-panelists' mouths and stared at Saša for five minutes. She then said that she wanted him in her team and slipped her business card down his trousers as he was leaving Nina Sublatti - After Saša, the honorary queen of Lyrisia, Nina Sublatti was to perform. Miss Sublatti decided to perform the anthem that took over Lyrisia in 2015 - "Warrior". Despite the strong start and the interest of all the jurors, one of the smoke machines blew up causing smoke to pour out from the stage completely submerging Nina for the rest of the song. T-ARA - T-ARA were the first group to perform and started their performance with a bang. The group used every pyro-technic available to them and had their choreography timed to perfection. The three judges were amazed by their performance - Nika Zorjan (who was feeling dizzy after all the pyro-technics) stated that they could turn the show down a little. The group ultimately chose Sirusho as their mentor. Tamara Vrčak - Next to perform was Tamara Vrčak who is well known amongst Serbian and Macedonian people living within Lyrisia. Tamara was due to perform the song "Let Me Love You", however she brought the wrong track whereby every instance of "Let Me Love You" was replaced with "Let Me F*ck You". While Illen declared that she preferred this version of the song as it spoke to her heart, she said that: "Even I don't fuck up that much". Ginta Biku - After Tamara, Ginta Biku was to perform her song "Cet Air-Là" accompanied by various special effects to distract from her dodgy vocals. Sirusho said that she was intreged by her performance and wanted to see her in the semi finals for Whoreovision. Ginta Biku left the stage elated following which, Sirusho turned to Nika and whispered: "Who was she again?". Neither of them knew so they acted like Ginta's performance didn't happen Kamaliya - Following was international model and recently-turned singer Kamaliya. Kamaliya decided to take inspiration from her music video and turned up in a glass tank of water - as she couldn't bring the sea to the studio. The judges were confused as they couldn't really hear her singing in the water, however, it turned out that she wasn't singing but asking for help as her dress was too heavy. The singer decided to ditch the tank and deliver a slightly wet performance of her song Aphrodite - which despite a few shaky vocals - impressed the judges greatly due to her charisma. Sirusho admired her charisma and eventually, Kamaliya was chosen by Sirusho - who had forgotten she had chosen Ginta Biku or rather, that she existed. Karmin Next up was the duo "Karmin" performing their song "Didn't Know You". The duo, who were serving US-Saloon realness, sang their composition pitch-perfectly and earned the praise of singer Nika Zorjan who gave them a standing ovation. Doda The final singer to perform was self-proclaimed celebrity Doda who had decided to come to Lyrisia because San Monetta chose someone else for Plastics Song Contest and she wanted to go. Illen - who had had drama in the past with Miss Doda - was unaware that she would be audition. As she entered the studio Illen pumped her boobs up to get ready to fight with Doda, however Nika and Sirusho calmed her down and Doda proceeded with her audition. Unfortunately for Doda, she fucked up and requested that she start again, to which Illen responded:"Bitch, you can't just start again - you fucked up. It's your shit and you've got to sit in it.". To which Doda replied: "How did you just call me whore?". Subsequently, the situation began to escalate with Doda calling Illen a fake, silicon whore and Miss Tulvine telling Doda to shove her rant up her a** along with all her work as she tried to tweet about the conversation she was having. The two women then engaged in physical violence with Doda sitting on the Head of the Lyrisian state and scratching her boobs upon which Miss Tulvine pulled on Doda's fake hair and kicked her in the vagina. The two exchanged further insults, with Doda stating that Lyrisian boobs were pathetic, to which Miss Tulvine replied: "At least they're not fake like your bitch ass!". Doda was then dragged out of the building by security and arrested by Lyrisian police. The show ended with an awkward dance by Dasha the Slut - the host - who didn't know what to do.

Semi Final 1
The first semi final of Whoreovision 4 is scheduled to be aired on Thursday 23rd February 2017. The show will feature two acts, Kamaliya and T-ARA who are both being mentored by singer/politician Sirusho. The final will be opened by the mentor of the acts - Sirusho - singing her new song "Huh Hah". The interval act will be performed by the representative of Ayőlűlék in PSC 4 - Sandra Afrika and her song "Baš Mi Je Žao".

Semi Final 2
The second semi-final of Whoreovision 4 is scheduled to be aired on Friday 24th February 2017. The show, like the first semi-final, will feature two acts, i-La - who will sing "Hungry" - and Karmin who will sing "Didn't Know You". Both of the acts are mentored by famous singer Nika Zorjan who will perform the song "Fse" and a cover of "Cheap Thrills" for the opening act. The interval act will be a performance of Lyrisia's entry to Plastics Song Contest 2, namely: Lashyn - "Zhasa Tugan Zherim".

Semi Final 3
The third semi-final of Whoreovision 4 is scheduled to be aired on Saturday 25th February 2017. The show, like the first and second semi-finals, will consist of two acts, Kendji Girac - who will sing "Andalouse" - and Saša Kovačević who will sing "Temperatura". Both of the acts are mentored by famous singer/performer/porn-star/president/artist/dildo-user Illen Tulvine who will perform the song "Do It Yourself Girl" alongside Wanheda's Shaniqua Satanic. The interval act will be a performance of Flutura and Kallashi twerking for ten minutes straight to a compilation of slut-pop songs.


 * Despite coming second in the semi-final televote, Saša was chosen by Illen to advance to the final after she had consulted with her Vagina over who to pick.

Final
The grand final of Whoreovision 4 is scheduled to air on Sunday 26th February and will contain one act from each semi final - one act per each mentor. The final - like the semi-finals - will be decided by a public televote with the winner being revealed at the end of the evening. The show will be opened by Lindsey Stirling performing her entry for PSC 3 "The Arena" and "Shatter Me". The interval act will be a performance by the winner of Plastics Song Contest 3 following which Dasha the Slut will hold a five-minute Philosophical Session named "Pussy for your Thought."

Ginta Biku who? - Ginta Biku and Illen Tulvine
Originally jury member Illen Tulvine had selected Ginta Biku and Kendji Girac to be her representatives in the two semi finals. However three weeks before the show was to take place Illen Tulvine forgot who Ginta Biku was and so she selected singer Saša Kovačević to be her replacement. Ginta Biku filed a lawsuit against the production which was sent directly to Illen Tulvine who promptly used it as toilet paper - according to the Lyrisian Government Press.

Doda and Illen Tulvine
After Doda - a singer from San Monetta - auditioned to represent Lyrisia in Plastics Song Contest, a fight erupted between herself and judge Illen Tulvine as the singer had requested that she be allowed to start over. The two women exchanged insults before engaging in physical violence against one another. After the incident Miss Doda stated in an interview: "Lyrisia is shit and full of shit. Illen can eat shit, it would help her appearance". In response to this the San Monettan leader is reported to have sent a message to the singer saying: "You go gurl". When asked about the incident Illen Tulvine simply replied with: "Who?" and then proceeded to pleasure herself with a dildo sent as a gift from Shaniqua Satanic.

Kendji Girac and Illen Tulvine
Kendji Girac and Illen Tulvine were involved in a media scandal whereby text messages, which are believed to be sent from Miss Tulvine to Kendji, were leaked to the Lyrisian Press. One of the texts leaked stated: "I want you to stick your French baguette inside me xxx". There is still no definite proof that either party was involved, however considering each text sent is signed with the letter T and the same night as the Text Message Leak occurred the two could be seen getting into a taxi together, conspiracy theories have been running wild.